away from the noise...

I come from a humble family background. My family is not well-off and I have a grandmother who is mentally insane. Throughout my growing up years, I blamed my dad for not doing a good job in providing for the family as he spent his money on cigarettes, alcohol and lottery. Because of my family, I used to feel inferior and shameful when I listened to my peers shared about their families. I envied them for they do not have to scrimp and save each day. Consequently, I tried to do well in studies, in ECA, and even in friendships. I want to be socially accepted. I want to feel better about myself.

When I was in primary school, a friend shared with me about Jesus. She wrote in my autograph book, “Jesus loves you.” At that young age, I didn’t realize His love for me was so great, so unconditional. I went on to a Christian secondary school later and was exposed to more Christian values. During weekly assembly, guest speakers were invited to share about God and testify the His goodness. My heart began to stir as I listened. I pondered over the beautiful surroundings which God has created, the sky, the clouds, the trees, the sea. There must be a creator, I believe. One night, I was at a sports training camp when a senior came over and shared Christ with me personally. That night, I received Jesus into my life. I was 13 years old.

Soon, I started attending church. Like many first generation Christian, I was faced with strong parental objections at home. In school, as I grew closer to the seniors who brought me to church, my relationships with my close friends were affected. My coach who was also my form teacher was displeased when he knew I was attending church. He was concerned that I would skip trainings to go for church activities. I recalled an incident where he humiliated me in class. Although he did it jokingly, the sarcasm and ridicule in his tone made me feel utterly awful. After a year, I was tired of the misunderstandings and rejections. I felt very discouraged and stopped attending church.

Life went on as normal after I left church and God. I did well in my studies, entered a good college and got into my first choice course in university. I had dear friends around me and I sought fun and enjoyment everyday. However, I continued to feel bad about my family and myself, and I hid these negative feelings. I did not think much about my purpose in life and I tend to just follow what the majority was doing. Even when I was most upset after I broke up, I relied on my own strength and depended on my friends’ support to get over it.

Everything seemed fine until I encountered a big problem with my Final Year Project (FYP). It was totally unexpected and I was completely helpless. For the first time in my life, I felt really confused, lost and depressive. Though there were helpful advice from friends on what to do, I did not feel right. I knew my confusions did not arise simply due to a FYP issue. Again, I try to hide but could hide no more. For many nights, I broke down and cried. I was at my wits’ end. There and then, I realized that there was no way I could help myself but to pray for God to help me. Miraculously, God answered my prayers and sent help. He sent people in my life to guide me and saved me out of the pits. I was touched by God’s love for me. He never forsakes me even though I had forsaken him. From that day on, I decided to re-dedicate my life to Him.

Since then, God has done amazing things in my life. I can be who I am today because God rescued me and picked me up from the rubble in life. He did not forget me even though I backslid. When I thought I was unworthy of His love, He still welcomed me back like the Father in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), He’s always there waiting for me.

I thank God that in the past 2 years, He has helped me to forgive my dad and my family. I’ve learnt to count my blessings and love my family. After 2 years of praying and waiting, today, I can be baptized with my parents’ approval and blessings. Not just that, God also healed me from my past hurts, my fears and my insecurities. During those tough times when I felt disappointed, hurt and angry, God was there to comfort me. He understands the pain I went through. He accepts me for who I am. In Him, I can find contentment. I know I do not need to strive to be socially accepted. I’m rich because God is with me. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him (James 1:17). I know He will not shortchange me.


I just want to share my baptism testimony to all... and give glory to my saviour...