Following-up on the news that I posted 2 days ago, more than $300,000 have been collected so far for condolence money for the Tan family, according to TNP, dated 22 Oct. I'm really glad to know that Singaporeans are not apathetic afterall. :)
When I reached home today, my sister told me to read TNP cos she was really saddened by the plight of the Tan family. (Click here to read the story) I was trying hard not to cry as I read the article. Indeed, I've come to realised how blessed I am and how comfortable my life have been!
Well, to be honest, I didn't use to think that.
When I was small, my parents struggled to take care of me and my 2 siblings and often borrowed money from my aunt to make ends meet. I looked down on myself and envied my peers for having the things that I didn't have. On the outside, I appeared to be very okay. Because the last thing I wanted from my friends was sympathy or even empathy. I used to hide from the fact that I'm living in a 3 room flat with my insane grandma and had monthly household income of less than 2k. I was very ashamed of who I am and my family. I felt that if I would lose my dignity if my friends know my family background. Throughout my schooling days, I faked my self-esteem. I was perpetually fearful that people would find out my family situation and how should I answer them. Even up to today, to be truthful, I still feel awkward telling people about it. How I wish I can be rich, glamourous, beautiful and always popular.
But I believe it is also because of my past that I come to know Christ.
When I was in sec 1, I saw the scripture at the back of my sch exercise book that says,
'Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.' - John 6:35
Somehow, this verse stirred up something within me. "Whoever comes to Him will never go hungry?" At that time, I didn't think much. Perhaps, all I wanted then was not just to satisfy my physical hunger but material wants. But strangely, I remember it for years... I suppose it's because I was scared of poverty or having not enough.
Now when I think back, I know that if not for my past, I wouldn't have caught that verse. If I hadn't been poor before, I wouldn't have understand what does it mean by being "poor". If I hadn't gone through difficult times, I would not have been impacted by this verse and remember it for years.
And it was also because of this verse that I turned to Jesus when I was desperate for help 3 years ago. I was desperate for a miracle, desperate for a hope.
I was amazed and am still amazed by how He blessed me with favors and how things worked out perfectly. If not for my past and my family, I wouldn''t have known how much I needed God. I might not appreciate the wonderful things that He had done for me and would take all I have for granted, thinking that I deserve all good rewards.
Presently, I stand to testify God's goodness in my life. Financial conditions in my family have improved so much in the past 2 years as my sister and I started working. God has provided my sister a job that pays her favourably. I just had a mini promotion and pay increment. My brother had graduated from poly and started serving NS in SISPEC. Monthly HHI has risen from less than 2K to above 6K! God has provided me abundantly!
I want to bless others as I count my blessings. As I read the article of how Mr Tan used his progress package of $800 to buy his first bed for his wife after 15 years of marriage, and how he struggled to provide a better life for his wife and 2 sons, I'm convicted in my spirit to pray for them and to help them in tangible ways, as well as the poor and the needy in and out of Singapore. I believe this is the heart of God, a heart of love and compassion for the poor and the needy.
Labels: testimonies